A little scare

Well, I had a little scare the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving with some spotting.  I freaked out and we called the doctor and he called me back and said not to worry about it, but to go ahead and come in on Friday to just check everything out.  He said it would probably stop a couple of hours later, and he was right, I just had a little.  He also told me to rest as much as possible, and I did, although it was hard because I wanted to help my mom prepare everything.  Ben and my entire family were wonderful on Thanksgiving and I just rested the entire time. 

We went to the doctor Friday morning, and I was so nervous that I almost threw up on the way to the doctor's office.  But once we got in there, the doctor said that everything looked great and I was measuring right where I was supposed to be.  We also got to hear the heart beat and that was the most amazing sound I have ever heard.  Ben and I held hands and cried with joy, it was amazing.  I continued to take it easy the rest of the weekend.  I am feeling much better now.

We went again last Friday for another sonogram and the little biscuit is growing.  There is such a big difference in the sonogram from the week before to the one we had done on Friday.  The heartbeat was stronger and so awesome to hear again.  I am still measuring right, so as of today, I am 7 weeks 4 days pregnant.

Most of our family and friends know, but I am so ready to get past this 1st trimester to share the exciting news with everyone else!

And the result is......

POSITIVE!!!!
Ben and I are excited to announce that we are having a baby!!  I took my bloodtest the morning of November 10th and received a phone call from the nurse at about 4:40PM.  I couldn't wait to get home to tell Ben so I called and when he answered I said, "Hi Daddy!!!"  He was very excited to hear the news. 

I rushed home because I had a hair appointment so I went home to get Ben and he was going to drop me off and run some errands and then we were going to dinner to celebrate.  On our way to our appointment we called Ben's best friend, Greg and told him.  It was a great day to tell him, it was his birthday.  It was also my brother's 40th birthday, but I wanted to make sure I told him in person and it was special.  We went to BJ's Brewhouse so Ben could have a beer and I could have water. :)  While we were there celebrating, we were trying to figure out how and when we were going to tell our family and friends.  My dad had a meeting that night and was supposed to be home around 9:30 and my mom went out for drinks with a girlfriend and would be home about the same time.  So we went to Buy Buy Baby and got a bib and a onesie and went home and ironed on letters that said I Love Mimi and I Love Dado and then took them over to them that night to tell them.  It was difficult though because we had to make up a story as to why we were coming over at 9:30 at night, so we told them that Ben needed to talk to my dad about some union stuff regarding work.  The D's are backwards because we messed up when we ironed on the letters.  Friday night we were able to tell some of our best friends and then Saturday after my nephew's game I gave my brother a picture frame with a picture of a bun in an oven in the frame.  He and my sister-in-law were so excited!  Sunday afternoon we were finally able to get over to Ben's parents to tell them.  We got them a picture frame that said Grandkids on it and had a place for 2 photos.  In the top we put a picture of our niece and nephews, and then in the bottom we put the same bun picture in there.  They absolutely loved it and Ben's mom jumped out of the recliner she was so excited! 

The Waiting Game Again.....

Well, Tuesday was the BIG day that we did the FET!  I went and got a 90-minute full body scrub, Swedish massage and scalp massage on Monday to relax and release all of those nasty toxins before Tuesday.  My appointment was for 2:00 on Tuesday, but my doctor was running super late so we didn't get back until almost 3:00.  The embryologist gave us a picture of the embryo and said it was pretty and big and fluffy.  The picture they gave us was 2 hours post thaw, not the 4 hours post when they do the procedure, so she said it looked even better than the picture I am posting below.  I had to lay there for 30 minutes afterwards and then lay down once we got home, and I did just that.  I only got up to use the restroom and I barely sat up to eat the yummy dinner my mom made for us.  Yesterday I came to work for a few hours, but then decided I needed to go home and continue resting so I went home and laid around the rest of the afternoon and evening.  I am feeling very good about this transfer, it is different from the first one, so I know that means good things.

Here is our biscuit! 
Thanks for all of the support and prayers, they are very appreciated.

Here we go again!

I don't think I have updated since my last doctor's appointment and since I started my estrogen tabs.  I went to the doctor on October 13th for an ultrasound and bloodwork and everything was looking the way it was supposed to look.  The next day I started the estrace once a day, then I went to twice a day, and now I am taking it 3 times a day.  I had another appointment this morning for more bloodwork and an ultrasound.  My ultrasound looked good and so we are set for the FET on November 1st unless something strange comes up in my bloodwork, but I don't see that happening.  So say some prayers for the Fenders as we head into next week.  We are very excited and positive about the FET.

How about the Rangers?!  So excited for them!! 

We will update after the FET next week!  Happy Halloween!

Happy Friday!

I received a call first thing this morning that my biopsy results came back and everything was normal!  Yay!  So excited to hear that!  Now we are all set to start things again around the middle of October.  I have my next ultrasound and lab work on October 13th and then I start my meds the next day.  Looking forward to it!  Keep those prayers coming please!  I feel really good about all of this!

Quick update

Last Friday I had an endometrium biopsy to make sure there isn't any reason that the embryos won't attach to my uterine lining.  They look for things like strep, e-coli, and other things like that.  Those are treatable with antibiotics, so I could take antibiotics to get rid of the infection if I did have that, and then it would be better and we could go on with the FET (frozen egg transfer).  I should get the results of the biopsy back sometime next week, and then we will know if we can proceed with the meds again.  This time I will only be taking estrogen tablets and the progesterone injection.  I will update everyone once I get my results back.

Thanks for the continued prayers.

Been Awhile

Well, it's been over a month since I last posted our bad news.  We were able to keep busy after the news by celebrating our friend's wedding and then 2 weeks later taking a vacation to our favorite spot with our best friends.  We relaxed and didn't think about anything for that week in Destin, it was wonderful.  Last week I decided it was time to start facing the bad news and call the doctor back after he had called wanting to talk.  I have had 2 offers from two wonderful people offering to be surrogate mothers for me.  I was completely taken back when they made those offers, I was so grateful. 

Ben and I made an appointment for last Friday the 2nd to see the doctor.  We sat there for 45 minutes without being seen and no one saying anything about the doctor running late, so we got up and left and headed to work.  My doctor called me immediately to apologize over and over about being so late and that he would meet us whenever we wanted to meet with him.  He works on the weekends a lot since everything with a woman's cycle is so timed, so we decided we would meet him on Sunday morning.  We just wanted to see what his thoughts were on why I didn't get pregnant and talk about the options with my frozen egg. 

It explained the cycle to us and still can't really tell me why I didn't get pregnant.  He said that it may or may not be the quality of my embryos.  Sometimes they have genetic disorders and so they don't form, but they would never know that unless they did a biopsy on the embryo.  He said that it could have also been the lining of my uterus because they messed with it so much during the process. 

I asked him about surrogacy and he doesn't seem to think that I need that because of my age and that there is nothing wrong with my uterus, so as thankful as I am to have those friends offer such a thing, it looks like we don't need that at the moment.

He is positive about the frozen egg and let us know that it is so much more simple for this process than doing a fresh IVF.  We would call him with a date that we want to make the transfer and then they work backyards.  Basically I would be on birth control for about 4 weeks or so to suppress my ovaries and then I would be on estrogen for 2 weeks and then progesterone for one week and then we would transfer it praying that it survives the thawing process.  Who knew you could have a kid from a frozen egg? :)

The cost is significantly less than a fresh cycle as well, but we are going to save for that cost and the cost of my medications and then decide when we are going to do the transfer.  I would like to do it sooner because I am afraid next summer could be worse than this summer and I really don't want to be 8 or 9 months pregnant, but I am not going to be picky.  I will take that little baby whenever I can have it!!!

I ask that you continue to pray for us please.

No such luck

Well unfortunately I do not have good news to report, my beta test came back negative on Friday.  Luckily Ben and I were surrounded all weekend by our best friends to celebrate the wedding of a great couple so that helped to keep us busy.  And we have vacation to look forward to in 2 weeks.  Two weeks from today I will be laying on the beach and relaxing with friends.  Thank you to everyone for all the prayers and well wishes. 

The Waiting Game....

I said I would never do IVF, and here we are, done with our 1st IVF.  I only said I would never do it because I never thought I would have to, but with the small chance of us getting pregnant without any help, it was the only way to go.  So, I am officially done with our 1st IVF.  After many doctors visits, blood tests and injections and procedures we get to play the waiting game.  Well, I guess I shouldn't say that I am done with shots since I still have to do my progesterone shot every night.  And tomororw morning I start my estrogen patches, that will be the easiest part of this entire process. 

Yesterday we had 2 grade "B" embryos transferred back into me, it is very rare to get a grade "A".  A week from today I will go for my first beta test, so lots of prayers that the numbers are where they are supposed to be and I get to go back on Monday for another one.  I am going to try to take it very easy this weekend and all next week to help my little biscuits cook.  We have a baby shower Saturday evening for some good friends and then some of our best friends are getting married next weekend so it will be a very busy 3 days starting on Friday. 

Eggs Retrieved, now it's time to fertilize!

The retrieval was on Saturday morning and went very smoothly.  After the retrieval we went to lunch and then headed home and I rested for the remainder of the day.  Poor Ben was so bored because I couldn't do anything and it was too hot outside to work in the yard.  I made a list of groceries and he went grocery shopping for me and then we ordered pizza and watched movies.  We watched The Switch with Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston is single and wants to have a baby by getting a donor egg.  She sent out invitations that said, "I'm getting pregnant party!"  Ben thinks I should send out an evite for my transfer on Thursday to say I am getting pregnant. :)  It was a cute movie.  Sunday I was still really bloated and just sore so we took it easy for the day.  I was so bummed to miss Grant's birthday party, but I didn't think I could handle the heat that day.  They called that afternoon to let me know that they took 13 eggs, or biscuits as we have referred to them and 9 of them fertilized!!  So exciting!!!  Today they will call with an update of how they are growing and then the transfer is scheduled for 1:00PM on Thursday.  Luckily I won't be under anesthesia so I will be able to have a light meal and water before the procedure.  And Ben gets to go into the OR with me while they do the transfer.

Unfortunately it seems like everything in our house is breaking all at once so it has been a little stressful in the house because of that.  Ben noticed our fridge wasn't cooling on Sunday so we were concerned we would need a new fridge possibly.  But thankfully on Monday when he checked it, it was working great and still is.  And then our sprinklers aren't working so we have to call someone out to fix those, and then our pool pump is messed up but Ben and his dad can fix that.  We have a lot to be done in our backyard after Ben tore down our big storage building and the hot tub needs to be filled in.  He is stressed about getting all of this stuff done before we have a baby, but I tried to remind him that they don't come out walking. :)  But his concern was not having the time to do those things around the house because he will be busy with the baby or babies.  I reassured him that we will get it all done before that happens and he felt better after that.

Here we go!

It's here.  The ER, or TVOR (Trans Vaginal Oocyte Retrieval - gross!) as it's "officially" called on my paperwork.  It's tomorrow!  I go in at 9:30 am and the procedure will be at 10:00.  Holy crap, I'm nervous!!!  I took my ovidrel shot last night at 10:00PM to trigger ovulation. 

I received very specific instructions for taking my ovidrel last night, the ER (egg retrieval) and the ET (embryo transfer).  At the top it states, "Tomorrow you have the day off and no injections!!!!"  That was very exciting for me after weeks of injections and being black and blue.  Tomorrow I cannot wear any jewelry, make-up, perfume, deoderant or I cannot fill my car up with gas.  Apparently these can be considered embroyotoxic.  And I cannot have anything to eat or drink after midnight tonight, I hope Ben does this with me as well so it will be easier. :)

Say lots of prayers please!

Pin Cushion

I started my stim meds on July 5th and everything is going as planned, I am just bruised and very sore.  I do two injections every morning and one injection every evening, and in between that I take one antibiotic two times a day and a low dosage aspirin and a prental viatmin.  Ben is also taking the antibiotics so we can both stay healthy prior to the retrieval and transfer.  I knew the shots would be uncomfortable, but I didn't realize how bruised and sore I would be from them.  And since about Saturday afternoon, I have been really bloated and just feeling tired.  We went for an ultrasound and more blood work on Sunday morning and the ultrasound showed to be normal for a 6-day stim cycle, so everything is on track.  I had a few follicles, so hopefully when I go back on Wednesday for another ultrasound and blood work I will have more follicles and they will have grown so we can do the retrieval on Saturday.  Have I mentioned that I REALLY like my doctor, he is great.

This process is going by so fast.  It seems like we were just talking about starting it and starting birth control for the few weeks before starting any medications.  Ben and I were talking on Saturday about how fast this is going by since the retrieval will be this weekend and then the transfer the following week. 

A little evidence of the bruising I am experiencing on my abdomen.

Everytime I go to the doctor I have to get blood work done, and am walking away with bad bruises on my arms.  I'm sure people are wondering what all the bruising is from. :) 

Ready for Stims

I had a doctor's appointment this morning for a pre-stimulation ultrasound and bloodwork at 7:45.  Ben had to work a double last night, but ended up coming home at 2:30 because his boss said he has put in so much time lately to leave early.  Well I still figured that was too early for him to get up and go with me, but I woke him up just to make sure he didn't want to go and he asked if he could just stay home and I said yes.  Then he told me he was going and I said no because I didn't think he should be driving since he was so tired.  I finished getting ready, gave myself my lupron injection and then headed to the doctor.  Once I got there and checked in, I needed to use the restroom.  When I came back out I just sat in the closest chair and figured I would get out my phone to catch up on morning emails and got a text from Ben saying, "Sitting by yourself?"  I said yes and not to do this, I just thought he was being funny.  Then he responded, "Me too" and then another one right after that, "By the door."  He surprised me and came to meet me at my appointment, it was so sweet.  He wanted to be there with me and I was so happy he was.  We paid our labs fees this morning and then I went back for bloodwork and the ultrasound.  Once I got done with that they told me I needed to reduce my lupron from 10U to 5U starting tomorrow morning and to go ahead and start my stims on Tuesday like scheduled.  They said my ovaries look just the way they are supposed to look.  So we will be adding 2 more injections on Tuesday, one more in the morning and then one in the evening.  Ben is off until the night of the 6th, so he will be home with me on the first day of them.  We are having a date night tonight and going out for sushi because this will be my last time for sushi and wine.  Once I start all of my stims I have to treat my body as if I were pregnant so that means watching what I eat and no alcohol.  Also for the next month I cannot get my heart rate above 130 so unfortunately I will not be able to continue my morning walking with my neighbor, Karol.  But I will be ready to start again once they give the okay.  So for the next month I will be taking it easy and resting like the doctor suggests.

All of my meds!

Well it is mostly needles.  The actual medicaion is to the left.

Injection Time...

I started my lupron injections on Saturday, June 18th.  I take one injection every morning at the same time.  These injections are used with an insulin needle, so it is not that big.  The other injections I will be taking have larger syringes.  Ben got up and gave me my injection on Sunday morning, he did a good job even though he was nervous.  He has no idea what he has in store when he has to give me my progesterone injections in my butt every morning when we start that. :)  My next doctor's appointment is set for July 1st, so I will post an update after that.

Where do we go from here?

This may be TMI for some people, but I am giving detail to let you know how we got to where we are now.  I was having very irregular periods for about 5 months and was over it, so I decided that I was going to ask my doctor for birth control when I went in for my yearly exam.  So March 30th, I asked for that and she agreed because of the period issues and thought maybe we should take a break for a bit.  Because of the irregular cycles they decided to do some bloodwork and then also schedule a pelvic sonogram for the next week.  My bloodwork came back normal and then my sonogram showed something on my uterus.  She wasn't exactly sure what it was, but thought that may be a factor to the irregular cycles.  So I was scheduled for a hysteroscopy at the hospital because she didn't have the proper equipment in the office, otherwise she would have done it there.  I went in April 25th for pre-op and had to answer about 3 pages worth of questions.  One question the nurse asked was if I had ever been hospitalized before, and I answered yes.  I was back in March 2003 with a rare condition called Rhabdomyolosis.  Crazy name, huh? 

• Rhabdomyolysis is the breakdown of muscle fibers resulting in the release of muscle fiber contents (myoglobin) into the bloodstream. Some of these are harmful to the kidney and frequently result in kidney damage.

I promise there is a reason I just told you about that.  So, April 26th Ben takes me to the hospital at 5AM for my procedure.  They get me ready and wheel me into the surgery waiting area and the anesthsiologist came to ask me a few questions about the "rhabdo".  He let me know that there were certain types of anesthsia that could trigger the rhabdo, but he wasn't using any of those.  Which I thought, that is great, but make sure I am knocked out for this thing. :)  So they found a polyp on my uterus and removed that and also did a dilation and cutterage, better known as a D&C (dusting and cleaning as my dad likes to call it).  Ben took great care of me for the rest of the day.

The following week I was out in the yard raking and pulling weeds, and it was so stinking hot outside.  I went to the neighbor's to watch American Idol and drink wine.  About 2 hours later, I started getting tight again in my arms and back, just like what happened in 2003.  So the next morning I told Ben and he said I probably just pulled some muscles working in the yard, but I knew better.  He ended up taking me to the doctor that afternoon so they could check my CK levels, which I found out the next morning that they were elevated.  Now, when I was in Hawaii they were around 20,000, but this time it was only about 1,200.  The normal range I believe is between 40 and 500.  Needless to say, I had to take it easy for the rest of the weekend and the following week.  I also drank pedialyte, gatorade and lots of water trying to flush all of this out of my system.  I was so ready to be feeling better.  We still don't know if the anesthsia triggered it or not, but I hope I don't ever go through it again.

I went back for a check up to my OB to make sure everything looked good after the procedure and it did.  She suggested I go back to the fertility doctor to at least have him help me get my cycle regulated.  Ben and I made an appointment for May 17th, and little did I know that day would not be a good day.  I thought I was going into this appointment to talk about getting on some meds to help regulate me, instead we walked out of there talking about IVF.  I love my doctor, and he really is caring and understanding, but I didn't like it when he told me that there was a 2% chance of getting pregnant on my own due to the irregular cycles.  He said we could try to regulate it, but it would most likely not help once I came off the medications.  So we talked about another IUI as an option, but that was only about a 10% chance.  The last option he gave us was IVF, and that number was much better, a 60-70% chance.  Great news!  Bad news.....my insurance doesn't cover it and it is a VERY expensive procedure.  But all that kept running through my head was 2% so Ben and I talked about it and decided we would go with IVF.  They told us that if we decided on the IUI or the IVF to just call them whenever I started my period again and we would get the ball rolling.  So, I called them the following Monday and it all started.

We went in on May 26th for an ultrasound and a LOT of bloodwork.  They took 5 vials of my blood and only 2 of Ben's.  The next thing on the list was to start birth control pills for a few weeks and so that is what I have been doing the past few weeks.  They emailed me my calendar (my lifeline for the next few weeks) and that showed what my next month to month and a half would be like.  I went in on June 9th for a teaching class on how to administer ALL of my medications I will be taking.  Let me tell you, there are a LOT of needles and it all has to be done the same time of day each day.  Ben has lucked out on helping with any of that because of his work schedule, so I may have to call on some family or friends for help if I get to a point of not wanting to do it anymore.  At that appointment they also did an ultrasound to look at my ovaries, a hysteroscopy just to make sure everything still looked good, and then a mock transfer to make sure he knew where he needed to inject everything on the "transfer" day. 

So this is where we stand right now.  I start my first dose of injections this Saturday, so wish me luck.  The reason for the blog is so we have these memories down the road and also so we can share it with friends and family when we are ready to share our story.

Why I decided to start a blog

Ben and I thought that a blog would be a good way to share with friends and family what has been going on with us over the past 4 years.  Ben and I decided that we would start "trying" for a baby in March 2007 when we went on vacation to Georgia.  We figured it would take sometime to get pregnant, but we weren't "trying" hard, just preventing.  Well after 2 years of "trying" my doctor wanted me to have a test done to check my fallopian tubes to make sure they were not blocked called, hysterosalpingogram (HSG).  So we did that in February 2009.  That tested showed they were NOT blocked and so there were no issues there.  So I was put on some clomid, estrogen and progesterone.  Let me just say that my hormones were crazy and I had some serious mood swings.  Ben loved it!  And so did everyone I worked with! :)

In July we decided that it was time to see a fertility doctor that my OB/GYN recommended.  We saw him in August and he suggested an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) and so we planned that for my cycle in September.  What a great doctor he was, so caring and understanding of our siutuation.  He and his wife had to do IVF 2 times and they were blessed with 2 children.  We did the first IUI in September and unfortunately it didn't take.  We were bummed, but decided to try the next month.  Each time we did it though, it would decrease our chances.  The IUI isn't that big of a deal, you take some clomid, estrogen and progesterone and then give yourself one shot in the abdomen about 36 hours before you ovulate.  That shot wasn't a big deal at all, except for the 2nd time I had to do it.  My parents are in the Shrine, and it was circus time in Fort Worth, and this year my mom got to dress up as a clown and be in a couple of skits so I definitely didn't want to miss that one.  Well you have to give yourself a shot at a certain time of day that the doctor tells you, and of course mine would be during a time that we wouldn't be at home.  So I went to the circus with the shot in a little cold bottle bag a friend gave me and off we went to the circus.  Afterwards, we were celebrating with my parents and I had to run off to another room to give myself the shot.  We went in a couple of days later for the procedure, waited 2 weeks, and no baby again.  So we decided to call it quits on any further fertility meds and just take a break.  I was an emotional roller coaster and the medicine I was on didn't help.

The doctor just diagnosed us as having unexplained infertility.  And month after month, we were still disappointed.